If you happen to be wanting to dwell in Buena Vista/Ashbury Heights with four to 8 of your closest buddies, all of whom are gainfully used, have I received a steal for you!
I was not certain what I would come across in wanting by way of the Craigslist candidates for Apartment Unhappiness these days — it is really been a even though because I have scrolled the apartment webpages and for all I know things have gotten considerably extra fairly priced because San Francisco went via a pandemic and two yrs of staying continuously portrayed as a forsaken hellhole in the nationwide press.
But it didn’t take very long at all to spy this pernicious listing for a “Victorian” that’s priced at $9,999 for every month. Fully furnished and with an alleged 5 bedrooms with king beds, and with no lease expression stated, this is a rental that appears to be to be trying to find fast dollars from some transient tech workers or the like — or another person entrepreneurial who wants to participate in master tenant for a home of five and most likely stay for small or no internet lease, even however that may well not be on the up and up.
It is billed “The Greatest Victorian In Buena Vista,” which, establish it.
And appear, it has a completely charmless and tiny kitchen area to be shared by 5-moreover roommates and whoever they are courting! So a lot for the premier kitchen area in Buena Vista!
I only see 4 placemats and ten bucks states that kitchen area desk is shoved up in opposition to a wall to the right, so you and your four roommates can not even sit down for supper alongside one another all at after. Lord is aware of a person of the 5 “bedrooms” was originally a dining place.
Is $10,000 a thirty day period the heading fee for furnished 5-bedrooms in SF proper now? I have no concept! But specified the dearth of good photographs — we only get a glimpse at one particular wonderful-ish bedroom (below) and a single kind of shitty bed room (2nd picture under) — this does not appear to be like a superior offer at all. $2,000 a month, moments five roommates, to stay with that kitchen?
At least a single particular person receives a bed room with a (non-working?) fire, some IKEA sheets, and a bay window.
At least one of this Victorian’s parlor places is being applied a frequent room, complete with a wall-mounted good Tv and dorm-fashion furniture. There is certainly seating for a cozy six or seven for motion picture night! And if you spill Schlitz on these sofas, they wipe up serious quick.
In other sections of the place, $10,000 a thirty day period would get you a palace with like, a placing eco-friendly and tennis court docket and possibly a golf cart. Here, it truly is unfortunate dorm furniture and — oh my god — only 1 full tub.
Sure, the toilet beneath, with a shower curtain that guaranteed was a decision, is the only position for five roommates having to pay two grand apiece to shower. There is another fifty percent-tub, not pictured in the advertisement, in which a person could just take sponge-baths I suppose.
You might be equipped to secure a 12 months lease, but uncertain you’d get additional at this location. The lack of financial commitment in, like, everything but some paint and IKEA household furniture would counsel possibly hope for superior turnover, or a plan to evict every person in a 12 months or two and offer this location as a TIC. Or a little something like that.
Also, I might put income down that some long-term tenants just acquired evicted in advance of the most current paint colours and shower curtain went up. So the other situation is that the proprietor is aware they can’t convert this absent from rental housing without the need of a key headache, so they are hoping just to make some dollars on the unit for a couple yrs right before promoting, soon after acquiring rid of whoever was paying out $1,200 for the whole point for the last 30 many years.
It could be yours for $9,999/month and a $35 application fee!
But I would just suggest dreaming even larger, kid.
All prior editions of Apartment Unhappiness on SFist.